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Don't Know What I Am

by Alien Boy

supported by
shleeb
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shleeb i hooked up with someone while playing this album and i think we fell in love, will update if true Favorite track: Dear Nora.
Clark Joseph Kent from Smallville KS
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Clark Joseph Kent from Smallville KS I love this band, everything they put out is fantastic! Favorite track: TV Will Always Make Me Cry.
Benjamin Morgan
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Benjamin Morgan Hooks and feelings forever. Favorite track: The Way I Feel.
Flint
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Flint Impassioned, emotional, energized. Ticks all the right spots when it comes to emo-adjacent indie. Favorite track: The Way I Feel.
daisyleaf
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daisyleaf Ache (#2) said it all!!! The ones I love are spread so far apart, on the map and in my heart. Alien Boy makes music that makes me feel like there’s no point in writing songs because someone already said everything I wanted to say. They rock and you should listen to them. Favorite track: Ache #2.
andrewam
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andrewam saw you in seattle last night. bought a shirt. bought the album today. so amazing!
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    -CD has 12 page booklet

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Second pressing.

    Vinyl comes with double sided 11x17 full color poster.

    This item is for PRE-ORDER and is expected to ship once the vinyl is received in stock. All orders including this item will be held to ship together once this item is in stock.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Don't Know What I Am via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $19.99 USD or more 

     

  • ***ALIEN BOY MERCH STORE***

1.
It’s all in line To look just fine We’ll be friends again another summertime When I think of you I think of then And it freaks me out It’s been years Am I still the boy that loved you? Are you still so sick of hearing of the feelings stuck inside? All this time Are we close in ways no one will ever think to wonder? Are we sick from loving others? Can we read each other’s minds? Big or small? Is there even a scare? When so much has changed about who we are. It’s just invisible ink bleeding out the corner of my heart. All this time? Turn off the phone I’m not at home The way you love me hurts too much The way I feel The way you make me feel, wont come around again.
2.
I ask again, am I talking to myself? Most days I’d rather sit alone Being close scares me the most Everything confuses me I don’t know who I am I found someone to hold my hand But it’s not holding back the ghosts I’m chasing dreams Kicking in my sleep But nothings enough Still see you in my dreams Still saying yr leaving But yr already gone Broke another mirror stumbling into bed with you I’m judging everything I do The hum is always cutting through I don’t know anything everyday you surprise me I try to rearrange my room But nothing ever seems to move I said goodbye today I’m staring out the window I can’t keep digging at these holes I can’t keep bleeding over you You. I’m chasing dreams Kicking in my sleep but nothings enough Still see you in my dreams You’ll always be a part of me.
3.
Dear Nora 03:16
I feel a little lost today Like I haven’t felt since yesterday Like I haven’t felt since I’ve been home Yr everything yr everything That's how my brain works about these things, to me It feels like there's a shuffling Like it might not be like every other thing I adore you so, you adore me In the way I always wanted I feel like a teenager Stuck daydreaming With yr skin always surrounding me I adore you so, you adore me In the way I always wanted I feel like a teenager Stuck daydreaming With yr skin always surrounding me I adore you so, I told you so ;)
4.
Heartburn 03:35
We’re always wonderin’ What’ll be the next to go My brain or my body Will it be my heart or soul? I watch you bitter Everyday yr driving by I wanna know you But I forgot how to try I always wanted to be you To move the ways that others do I’m always tired Working hard to keep in touch I get home early Oh, I never eat enough Everydays the fucking same The world is ending everyday I wanna love you but I don’t know how I always wanted to be you To move the ways that others do I watch the world fade away In the gloom I hear it say “Tell me that you love me more than you me more than you ever did before” I always wanted to be you I always wanted to be you To feel the way that I used to We’re always wonderin’ What’ll be the next to go My brain or my body Will it be my heart or soul?
5.
Ache #2 02:31
(A song for Alex, Mac, and Derek) The world is bad I don’t really know how to talk about it I feel alright when I’m around you Driving safe, no I’m not reckless When it’s cold I like to drive real far way Make it home safe say it everyday Cause’ if I lost you, I don’t know what I’d do “Ache”* said it all The ones I love are spread so far apart On the map and in my heart When I’m dumb you think I’m funny It’s getting old How ya’ll are leaving me Do you even like what you’ve got left? My Father’s Place It’s cheap to talk about the things you need I’ll meet you for coffee quarter after three I haven’t eaten alone in weeks “Ache”* said it all The ones I love are spread so far apart On the map and in my heart Yeah, I’m dumb “Ache”* said it all The ones I love are spread so far apart On the map and in my heart And in my heart And in my heart *Ache by Jawbreaker
6.
Is it okay to still feel this way? Growing pains lasting longer every day Aging away It all starts to fade Now yr just a whisper Humming warmly in my dreams I used to think you could hear me Now yr just a whisper Sing it slowly back to me What did it mean? I want something better than out here I want something more
7.
Seventeen 03:19
Wake me up before I fall asleep Sing to me like we’re seventeen Love me like you’ve never loved someone before You look at me through the sunlight like we’re free I could break if you see me I wanna give you everything She is the light I’ve had before I have it all but I want more She talks to me like I’m in a dream She talks to me Wake me up before I fall asleep Sing to me like we’re seventeen Love me like you’ve never loved someone before I talk to you like I know you want me to I could break again someday I can’t pretend it went away My fragile heart, I give to you My fragile heart Wake me up before I fall asleep Sing to me like we’re seventeen Love me like you’ve never loved someone before Wake me up before I fall asleep Sing to me like we’re seventeen Don’t wanna miss a thing
8.
How? How? Can I be this thing for you, never really knowing who How? How? Do I think when yr asleep? Waking up with you only I love, I love, I love you enough Enough, enough, to let it go just this once How? How? Can I be the thing you need, when I’ve been broken on repeat How? How? Do I think when yr asleep? Waking up with you only How? How? I love, I love, I love you enough Enough, enough, to let it go just this once
9.
Now I’ll never know you Now I’ll never be you The way I always wanted you Was always about me too I don’t talk to you It’s just too hard to be cool I said I missed you just to a stranger I beg to keep things like you away But I still think about it I still think about you When we were close Now I’ll never know you Now I’ll never be you The way I always wanted you Was always about me too It was always about me too Does it feel like you? Or does it feel like me? Sometimes I look in the mirror and yr all I see Sometimes it’s the best day Sometimes it’s the worst day One set of earrings for two What does it feel like to be you? Now I’ll never know you Now I’ll never be you The way I always wanted you Was always about me too It was always about me too It was always about me
10.
(clear eyes full hearts can’t lose) I don’t remember where I lost myself I don’t remember much at all I like to sit around and watch TV Let the fake light wash over me I used to feel so much Now I’m nothing but sore and lost Who am I? What’s it like to remember everything? Tell me again how yr leavin’ Watch my face unable to feel it Another foggy night Another long goodbye Playing reruns through my mind My heads all in the clouds It shows when yr around You need me to listen but I never learned how I’m sorry everyday The closeness slips away But TV will always make me cry Who am I? What’s it like to remember everything? Do you remember everything?
11.
I’m friends with boys who disappoint me I keep hearing the worst things Ya’ll keep leaving me behind They always do The girls who disappoint me Are so gone now that I can’t see I can’t remember who it was that felt close to me But who am I to you? What do you see when you see through And who am I to her? Another disappearing boy I don’t want you to think about me anymore. I stopped talking to anyone About the things inside my heart Until I met you You don’t hurt me now The way I miss yr body The way that you love mine Yr the sweetest thing to ever touch my life The way I disappoint you The they disappoint me The way I hurt from missing All the people that are gone When it feels like lifes too long.

about

Engineered by Nich Wilbur
Produced by Alien Boy and Nich Wilbur
Mixed and mastered by Jack Shirley at The Atomic Garden
All songs written by Sonia Weber and Alien Boy
2021

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released August 20, 2021

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Alien Boy Portland, Oregon

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